Forum (1/7): An Introduction

The forum I mentioned in the previous post was titled 'Beautiful Mind, Beautiful Child'. It was free and organized by the Master of Child Psychology students of a private university. The venue was the university's KL campus.

There were three speakers; two registered and licensed counselors and a foreign lecturer at the said university. 

The topics discussed was:

- Are you listening to your children?

- Discipline without damaging

- Digital parenting 

It was the third topic that got me interested in the first place. I will share what I gathered from this forum in subsequent posts.

During the half and hour break, participants took the opportunity to speak to the many child psychologists in the room (aka free consultation! Haha!) There were many of them alright, this was organized by psychology students after all! Besides the students, there were their lecturer and the three speakers who were experts of the subject.

After the break, an organization called the Breakthru Academy talked about kinesiology. This subject was totally new to me, so I was able to take away a lot from this session.

All in all, for the stuff that I already knew, this forum refreshed my memory of them and reinforced the message that persistence was necessary. I knew that I was losing steam in the persistence department. So, it was time for me to buck up. As for the stuff I didn't already know, it was an eye-opener. 

Even if I didn't learn anything, it wasn't a complete waste of time because at least I got a few hours off from home!

I would like to end this post with an interesting observation although I stand to be corrected if I am wrong. All the psychologists in the room appeared to me to be childless, except for the foreign lecturer who had a daughter in her, I guessed, tween. Are experts without experience still considered experts? Experts of theory?

I suppose a third party who is not emotionally involved is more objective in dealing with the problems of the families who consult them. After all, there is a Chinese saying: 旁观者清. A dictionary defines these 4 little words as : the person on the spot is baffled, the onlooker sees clear (idiom); the spectator sees more of the game. Apt in describing these 'theoretical experts', don't you think?

Navigating: Sometimes Even Navigation Is Best To DIY

W423 (a popular navigation app) couldn't get me there and it couldn't get me home. I had been reluctant to install this app into my phone but since I had been totally unfamiliar with the forum venue, I had let Hubby install it last night. However, it didn't help... at all!

The offending line was 'No GPS. Showing Approximate Location'. The blue dot jumped around. Whenever it settled into the right position, it didn't move as I move. The app didn't show my progress along the highlighted route. There was no audio giving directions. The   estimated time to destination did not reduce as I travel. Heck, it was like I was not moving at all! 😟

Luckily, I had studied the route on G00613 M49 and G00613 E4?78 last night, so I was able to make my way there without difficulty. 

In the end, it was the navigation 'app' in my brain that got me there (with G00613's help) and got me home (albeit having to go through some traffic jams) without undue delay.

Moral of the day: have the resources yourself so that you don't have to rely too much on external sources. 

PS: I will share what happened at and why I went to 'the forum venue' in a later post. Stay tuned!

Tiramisu: The Preferred Cake For Today's Birthday

A whole cake or just a slice? That was the question asked of the birthday boy. A whole cake was what he wanted; but we can't finish it, came my protest. We can eat it tomorrow, he replied with a hopeful grin. In the end, Hubby opted for two slices: one for the birthday boy, one for himself and me (he knew how I liked tiramisu, and the tiramisu of this place was one of a kind...yum yum 😋).

It is Heng's birthday today. Nothing fancy, just dinner at the place of his choice. Hubby and I prefer not to over indulge our kids on anything, even birthdays. It's his fifteenth. I remember my fifteenth as the last one celebrated without Hubby wishing me 'Happy Birthday'.

We met each other about a month before his sweet sixteen. By the time, my sweet sixteen came around, he had cared for me enough to call me before midnight on the eve, talked until midnight and wished me 'Happy Birthday' when the clock struck twelve. Although I hadn't fallen in love with him at that time, I suspected now that he already had feelings for me. I honestly feel that I'm truly blessed at finding my soulmate so early in life and sharing our lives since leaving childhood.

Well, enough about me. Hubby and I shared a steak, Jien and Yan had a spaghetti each, while Li had garlic bread with mushroom soup. The kids all had western stomach 😁.

On the way home, I asked Heng to count 5 good things in his life.

No. 1: UNIS;

No. 2: His UPSR results, crediting Ms O and Teacher E for his success;

No. 3: Living in XXX, it's a good thing because it's not noisy, relatively safe to cycle and near to a clubhouse;

No. 4: Reasonably good eyesight (power around 150) despite all the books he had read (I'm thankful that he is a verocious reader who 'devour' his book); and

No. 5: he's still thinking about this. [Update: Later he counted frequent eating out as a good thing. So you think my cooking is no good? I teased. Not all the time, he admitted, your western cooking like spaghetti and chicken chop is good but not the Chinese style cooking. That's cos you like western food, I countered a little defensively. I was actually glad that he was brave enough to speak his mind 👍🏼]

He had answered UNIS without hesitation. This showed how much of an impact it had on him. While I'm glad he had such and unforgettable experience, I hope it will not present too high a standard for him to compare other areas of his life to.

All said, I'm proud of Heng. Happy birthday, my boy 😘

Promise II: The Fulfillment of a Promise

I was finally able to make rice with meat and vege for Li to bring to school as snack. On the weekend of the National Day, I made schnitzel using pork slices. As it involved quite a lot of work, I made extra and refrigerate them. My kids loved them but Hubby didn't. I had to go out with him for dinner because he didn't want to eat the deep fried pork slices. 

On the first day of school after that, Li  said she wanted rice with schnitzel and rice. Perfect timing, I thought. I could prepare it quickly because I had leftover rice in the fridge from the previous day. So, I reheated the rice in the steamer, the schnitzel in the oven. Although I had to chop the garlic and stirfried the 'choy sum', it was quickly accomplished as I had extra washed leaves of the vege from a weekend homecooked meal.

I filled Li's usual food container with the food and a spoon and placed the container in a plastic bag in case it leaked vege sauce or got accidentally uncovered. I explained to Li about the need for the plastic bag and for keeping the container level in her bag. She understood followed my instruction very well. Good girl!

Did she finish the food? Only half of it. I consider it a success because there was no messy accident and she seemed satisfied with the whole thing. 

Promise: How Far Do You Go to Keep A Promise To Your Child

First, I need to clarify that this is not about whether you should make a promise. That process in which you weigh the costs and benefits of making that promise can be a lengthy subject in itself; but no. Today's Word is about keeping a promise as opposed to making one. 

Let me tell you what happened. One day, I made minced meat patties for lunch to go with egg fried rice and stir fried lettuce. Li liked it so much she wanted to have the same for snack in school the next day. It would mean more work for me in the morning as I would have to cook the meat and veggies. As I'd like to support my children in their decision, I said yes. 

After that, I totally forgot about it! At dinner, I didn't save some rice to be heated up in the morning. As it was completely forgotten, I didn't cook the rice, meat and veggies in the morning while getting the older kids ready for school.

My promise eluded me until Li was packing her school bag before going to school. She asked me, "Mommy, where's my rice?" It struck me like thunder but it was to late to do anything. What did I do, you ask? The only thing I could do: confessed that I'd forgotten, "can I make it for you for tomorrow's snack instead?"

I felt bad that I forgot and hoped that she wouldn't cry. Lucky for me, she didn't. She was disappointed, of course but she didn't bawl her eyes out crying "Bad mommy! Bad mommy!" Phew! I was relieved, to put it mildly.

I really did mean to make it up to her the next day but when I asked her again at that night, she said no. She changed her mind and hasn't had rice for school since then. Double phew!! Not that I don't want to make for her, I just don't prefer it. More work for me, yes, but think of the oily mess if the food box leak cooking juice or get uncovered in her school bag! Even more work for me!

So, do I go all out to fulfill my children's promise? Yes and no. Yes, if the situation remain favourable. No, if the situation changed and rendered it unpracticable. I'd explain the reason why it couldn't be fulfilled and offer alternatives. I believe this helps them to adapt their expectations and not grow to be spoilt brats where everything has to go their way. Also, it would mean less work for me.

Reading: My Favourite Thing To Do

It stood out like a sore thumb amidst the featherweights and lightweights that were staples in the kids section. I pitied it, I think, that was why I decide to adopt it for a few weeks. Besides, I was getting too caught up with a time-waster at home that I thought reading might be a better use of my precious free time. 

It was a 3-inch thick, hard-covered heavyweight ironically named 'Little Women'. I've read it before many years ago but I couldn't remember any of it. So, this time round, I considered this literary classic to be new to me.

The good thing about it was the large prints, so helpful at my age. I'm notice that I peep under my glasses more often whenever I want to see small things like my fingertips and the ends of my hair.  But I digress. 

The large prints were only one of the reasons that explain to its size. Another, I don't doubt, was the style in which the story had been written. The round-about way of expression was more descriptive and evoked deeper feelings of the reader towards the characters and their circumstances. However, they made a tedious read. I only made it so far because I loved to read and some of its chapters were captivating. Sadly, this classic would find it hard to hold the interest of a less avid reader.

My other complaint is that I can't bring it with me to the gym. The panel of the elliptical trainer is able to hold such a monstrosity but I'm afraid it will draw too much attention to its reader. So, for my running sessions, I use iBook. 'Sense and Sensibility' is another classic older than 'Little Women'. How do I know? Its sentences are much longer. Instead of round-abouts, it employs spirals. 

Try Again

I can't believe that it's been one and a half years since my last post! And after resolving to post regularly, too :( 

So, I'm going to try again. Why? I just read an article about keeping a journal every day, writing something, anything, down for a few minutes each day. It's supposed to help coping with stress, keeping new resolutions, among other things. I hope keeping a journal will make me feel that I've accomplished something because my daily routine now consists of serving others (read: kids) and I'm not doing anything for myself 😒 

Now, I will strive to write something down: a thought, a feeling, an observation, an experience, etc. I used to want to write 'meaningful' or 'helpful' stuff but I couldn't sustain it cos it took me a lot of effort to come up with idea and text for each post. What I need is something short and succinct that doesn't take me much time and effort. 

Hence, I shall try again to post regularly in this blog. Wish me luck 😇