FRIM: A refuge from war

I went for a jog early on Sunday morning hoping it would lift my mood, a result of a boring Saturday. The jog did do me good. However, my spirits came crashing during breakfast when Hubby announced that he had to go to war from 10 to noon.

I had hoped for an outing before lunch because Jien, my second son, would be having friends over in the afternoon. I was  determined that a stay-at-home Sunday would not follow a stay-at-home Saturday. I was also fed up with his wars because every war meant the family stay home. Kids staying at home meant kids playing computer games and watching tv.

To salvage my Sunday and to get the kids out of the house, I called my sister. Let's go to the canopy walk in FRIM, I said. Luckily, she could go. She brought Hann, her 8-year-old girl, and Ka, her 5-year-old son. I brought Jien, Yan and Li. Heng wanted to stay home to do his homework.

Unluckily, the suspension bridge was a 1.4km-trek away. My not-yet-4-year-old Li and Ka were too young for the trek as well as for the bridge. Suspended 30m in the air the bridge was prone to swaying and every one had to cross it one by one, a few meters apart. Not only could we not carry the little ones, we couldn't even walk with them!

The only other place that I think would be interesting for the kids is the waterfall picnic area. It was only a short climb on proper concrete steps (as opposed to steps made of roots and rocks). The water was shallow and clean. At first we only looked at picnickers from the steps. Then the older kids couldn't resist taking off their shoes and waded into the water. 

It was amusing seeing our kids wading carefully, not wanting to get their clothes wet. All around them kids and adults alike were soaking themselves in the cool water from the jungle. That was what I called being unprepared. We had prepared for a walk in the air but ended up with a walk in the water!

Nonetheless, the trip was a success. I got out of the house. I got the kids out in nature, away from electronic screens. Hubby and Heng went for haircut and lunch by themselves, so there's bonding for father and son. That's good. Most importantly, I don't let the resentment towards a warrior's wars grow, fester and spoil my wellbeing. 

Drive time: Make full use of it

No, I'm not talking about sending that urgent email, having that wake-up coffee, eating a hurried two-bite breakfast or touching up on that lipstick while driving. What I'm talking about is imparting value to our children. Yes, otherwise known as "lecturing" them. 

Before I elaborate on the lecturing part, let me tell you what's my drive time. As a full time mom, my first job description is fetching my kids home from school. I can subcontract cooking to my wallet but I can't leave them in school, can I? Tempting... but no. I fetch them home whenever I can (which is most of the time). As for what happens whenever I can't, I won't go into that now. That's not relevant here.

I actually enjoy driving my kids home. I can get out of the house, do less housework, and relax with the radio on. That's before they get in the car. Once they get in the car, the noise level is usually upped several notches. When I'm lucky, they'll be quiet and listen to the radio. When I'm luckier, a teachable moment presents itself. That's when I seize it!

What better time to lecture than when I have them all to myself? In the confined spaces of our car, I don't lose them the computer, the iPad, the iPhone and the books. They've got no choice but to listen. I let them ask questions. In fact, I welcome their questions. Questions mean they are interested, paying attention and most importantly, susceptible to the values I'd like them to have.

A perfect example of this happened when my eldest, Heng, a pre-teen, was in the car with me. As we passed a secondary school, a student zoomed out of the school on a motorbike.  

"Mom, that looks dangerous!" He said, referring to the way the student ride. The Moment! With a capital M! I seized it immediately!

Keeping an even tone of voice (to mask my excitement), I explained how some teenagers think they're all grown up and all knowing (they think can safely ride a bike in a dangerous way) and not heeding to elders' advice and opinion (to ride in a safe way). I told him that parents have been through more in their lives compared to their children, no matter what age. Such experiences enable them to see potential consequences that their children, with less life experiences, cannot. Therefore, it is best to listen to what parents have to say and digest it before dismissing them.

I think of this as vaccination against rebelliousness in his upcoming teenage years. Drive time fully made use of. Don't you agree?

Internet: The friend-finder

[This is something I drafted 5 years ago before this blog went to "sleep".]

Just google it. That's what I did, drawing inspiration from Nike's tagline (and to think that I used to hate Nike's logo. My first Nike sneakers were white with the logo in white, too, so that it wouldn't be obvious!). 

I've encountered my ex-classmate's name in newspapers and magazines a few times. Even though I couldn't be 100% sure it was her, I was 90% there as her name was unconventionally spelt. Some people had difficulty pronouncing it! 

After seeing the name in a popular local daily, I immediately googled it. The result was lenghty. Turned out she had been a journalist for a Singaporean daily for a few years. I managed to find her account with a community website. Despite not being much of an online-community person, I opened an account just so I could send her a message. Luckily, I didn't make a fool of myself or invite any sinister online-prowler. She confirmed that she was "indeed moi". 

"Moi" mentioned a few other classmates' names and that prompted me to google some more. Another fruitful attempt got me in touch with a partner in a Singaporean law firm. Wow! 'If my classmate is a partner in a law firm, then I could've been a partner in one of the largest audit firm in Malaysia', I fantasized. Then Hubby said,'Law firm and audit firm differentlah.' I fell back to earth with a thud. A reality check showed that my peer in that firm is

[Like I said, it was a draft, an unfinished one at that. I couldn't remember what I wanted to say about that peer of mine but I remember calling her and had a short chat.

Since this draft, I've looked up and kept in touch with more friends through the Internet. Besides being a friend-finder, the Internet is also a friend-keeper :) ]

Refresh: after a five-year absence

Just read my previous entries to refresh my memories. It was refreshing indeed! Some memories surfaced while some were lost :( I discovered that I have a dozen post titles, experiences waiting to be published. Should I publish these first or write about my new experiences? Five years is a long time. There's been many major milestones and countless minor ones throughtout the period. So I think I think I'll concentrate on current experiences and write about old ones when time permit.

Some of the major milestones:-

A new baby is almost 4 years old and had already started pre-kindergarten.

My husband and I celebrated our 13th anniversary. 

We lived in Hanoi, Vietnam, for eighteen months.

Heng, my eldest, sat for his UPSR exam. 

But I shan't elaborate on them today. Each of them contains multiple stories that are worthy of telling... in other days and posts :) 

To end this moment of "rebirth", I want to say that I'm glad to be writing again and looking forward to many more posts ahead :)