Promise: How Far Do You Go to Keep A Promise To Your Child

First, I need to clarify that this is not about whether you should make a promise. That process in which you weigh the costs and benefits of making that promise can be a lengthy subject in itself; but no. Today's Word is about keeping a promise as opposed to making one. 

Let me tell you what happened. One day, I made minced meat patties for lunch to go with egg fried rice and stir fried lettuce. Li liked it so much she wanted to have the same for snack in school the next day. It would mean more work for me in the morning as I would have to cook the meat and veggies. As I'd like to support my children in their decision, I said yes. 

After that, I totally forgot about it! At dinner, I didn't save some rice to be heated up in the morning. As it was completely forgotten, I didn't cook the rice, meat and veggies in the morning while getting the older kids ready for school.

My promise eluded me until Li was packing her school bag before going to school. She asked me, "Mommy, where's my rice?" It struck me like thunder but it was to late to do anything. What did I do, you ask? The only thing I could do: confessed that I'd forgotten, "can I make it for you for tomorrow's snack instead?"

I felt bad that I forgot and hoped that she wouldn't cry. Lucky for me, she didn't. She was disappointed, of course but she didn't bawl her eyes out crying "Bad mommy! Bad mommy!" Phew! I was relieved, to put it mildly.

I really did mean to make it up to her the next day but when I asked her again at that night, she said no. She changed her mind and hasn't had rice for school since then. Double phew!! Not that I don't want to make for her, I just don't prefer it. More work for me, yes, but think of the oily mess if the food box leak cooking juice or get uncovered in her school bag! Even more work for me!

So, do I go all out to fulfill my children's promise? Yes and no. Yes, if the situation remain favourable. No, if the situation changed and rendered it unpracticable. I'd explain the reason why it couldn't be fulfilled and offer alternatives. I believe this helps them to adapt their expectations and not grow to be spoilt brats where everything has to go their way. Also, it would mean less work for me.