Forum 2/7: Are You Listening To Your Children?

The first topic was essentially about how to listen. The moderator asked the three speakers questions relating to the topic and let them comment. From their comments, the moderator would summarize the 'take away' points. 

My take away points for this topic was:-

- it is important to connect with your children. Be patient to understand that the child is saying. At the same time, we must watch what we say so as to be encouraging. 

- be at eye level with the child when communicating. 

- be attentive by giving them your full attention i.e. put away our smartphones/ tablet while talking to them.

- start small; five minutes at first, then increase (I think this is to build up a habit. Starting small will not be overwhelming for the child and the parent. The child may suspect something if the parent suddenly show much interest!)

- let them talk, don't censor i.e. don't talk  only about the good things. 

- there should be awareness (I'm not sure whether this referred to awareness of the need to communicate with your children or awareness/sensitive to the things that your children talk about. But I guess, both is equally important.)

- (always a factor in any talk of parenting) persistence. 

The moderator asked a question: how can fathers play a role? In hindsight, this question sounded sexist to me. It presumed that 'the parent' so far in our discussion was the mother 😏. However, to one of the speaker's credit, she talked instead of how both parents should be on the same page i.e. the view of how to parent, the rules set for the children, their positions in certain aspects/situations in parenting. This was so that the children would not play one parent against the other. 

I had questions regarding this topic I wanted to ask the speakers but didn't manage to:-

-what if the child is the quiet type and don't talk/open up in our attempt to communicate?

- what is one child is more outspoken than the others and hog the conversation/communication?

I could guess the answers but I had hoped the speakers' answers may contain something I hadn't known. Luckily, before the day was through, I managed to ask some questions. In fact, I think I was the most outspoken! I will devote one post to questions I asked and answers that I got from the 'experts'. Tune in!